Does my secret has crush on me too?

I am not the person who is very expressive. But now I am here to express my feeling towards my crush.It wasn’t love at first sight, but there was infatuation. Every girl desires for a strikingly handsome(whatever be the definition of handsome for them) guy as her partner, so was my crush. Unlike others his handsomeness lied in his adoring smile, his randomness, his shyness and most of all his innocence. I was so infatuated by him that i couldn’t think of anyone except him.I used to get insecure when he talked to other girls thinking that someone else would make him happier than I could. I so wanted to express my feelings towards him and make him mine forever and ever, but again the fear of loosing  him as my friend after my confession stopped me. I cherished each and every moment I had with him, consoling my heart. I used to read all of our conversation repeatedly just to feel special.

Slowly the closeness between us increased, we started to share our feelings, talk about our families and much more. And there came our first meet which for me was a tea date. I can’t even express how excited and happy I was that I was going to meet him alone, no one would disturb us. I had waited a long for that meet to happen and finally it happened to happen. I was very excited and nervous at the same time when I saw him walking towards me. I didn’t know what to talk about, how to initiate conversation and then he initiated. We had short conversation about us and about life along with the sip of tea.

In the midst of our talk stroke a question in my mind, “ Does my secret crush has crush on me too?” And the incertitude troubled me a lot. Did he like me the way I did? Did he feel the same for me? The optimistic mind said, “Yes, he did”. But why didn’t he confess? Was he too afraid of loosing me as I was? But the pessimistic mind said, “No, he didn’t”. Then why would he have late night conversation with me? All those questions were killing me inside. I desperately wanted to know what he felt for me. And somewhere I still want to know what he feel for me. There is still a soft corner alive for him, for my secret crush.

WE Unfathomable

We are always desperate for other’s sympathy and praise, we strive for that. And it is not our fault, that is innate. As an example, if a small child falls on the ground and if his parents are around, he is sure to cry seeking sympathy from them, else he gets up hiding all his pains being afraid of being ashamed. We want all our surroundings to know about our accomplishment, sorrows. In spite of enjoying ourselves, realizing how joyous we ourselves are, we are desperate to let the world know about it. Let’s imagine a scenario; we reach the most beautiful place on the earth. We ask our friends to capture a photo, not to make a memory, but to show the world, let the others know that we have been there.

We human beings don’t know price of our own lives; how can we be called most intelligent animals on the earth.  We are those who feel reluctant to wear a helmet for a bike ride, and we don’t use our mobile phones without having its cover and safety glass. The pain for small cut seems to be incomparable to the pain we feel for the broken phone. A simple example, if a person falls while walking, we start laughing before giving him hands or we will be so lazy to ask if he has got any injuries, but if an expensive gadget get fallen, many hands would reach to help it, or at least we ask if it is ok.

We are so proud being called social being, but are we really? In the name of communication with the people far from us, in excuse of being nearer to them, we are moving far from those who are actually nearer to us. We don’t wish to have few words at the dining hall with the family, but we define social being by having talks with people on other continents during dine. When the orders in the restaurant get served, we all get eager to capture the untouched dishes in a photo rather than to cherish about togetherness and food.

We are known as the living organisms who have achieved most in the planet, the most successful creature. But is it true? Are we even able to understand ourselves? Even failing to understand ourselves, and we are given tag of most successful, is that a parody? I think, we are the most unfathomable creatures among others on the planet. May we think, we are esoteric, understandable by only some of us very near to us, our dear ones, but let’s analyze deeply, are we even understandable to ourselves, unfathomable being us.

WHO

Who is happier, a person who has just won a lottery of millions or the one who just got his sights for first time after living his early two decades just imagining how world would look like. Who is wealthier, a person who owns millions and live in the sophisticated living or the one who gets to have a first view of mountains, who gets to live in the pure environment, living happily on the laps of nature. Who loves you the most, one who owns 20 and gives it all to you or the one who owns 100 and give you 40. Who is your closer friend, the one who gives companionship for dancing or the one who helps you during need.

The common answer we would give: Of course, lottery winner is the happier one, what is there to see in this world. The people owning millions can do anything, can buy anything, even happiness, so of course he is the wealthier one. Who cares about how much other have, simply saying, 40 is double of 20 and the rest of deduction follows. And finally, of course, the friend who gives companionship is the better one, s/he is the cool friend who I am in sought for, and for talk of the help, we can search it anyway.

Though most of us realize the answer above would not be our thought, but let us realize it truly. If not mentioned how much s/he has, if one gives you 20 unit and other the 40, then surely, we would deduce the caring as the measure followed. We would answer that helpful friend is the nearer, but let us realize it deep heartedly, who we are emphasizing on our friend circle, the one who lights our cigarette or the one who does not let us smoke around, the one who fills a glass of beer or the one who insists for taking juice.

What is the point? Are we gone from being human to being materialistic? Yes, it seems so. We don’t care about others’ scenarios, we have gone so blind that we see what they show and we cannot see beyond. Have we gone so thoughtful that we would not give a second thought, giving a damn about other’s perceptions, other’s thinking. So, let’s get transformed from materialistic being to human being, superficial being to social being. The happiness follows.

Black and White

A story waits for you to live,

A legend in making, which others will sing about.

A character that will remain forever,

Because you were the black and white in a world full of color.

Beginning is always hard, that’s what they always say,

Maybe the almighty is showing you the right way.

The story has many twists and turns,

Life is not easy, we have to learn and carry on.

One day you will have a wonderful life,

Two little kids and a lovely wife,

Every wave will turn and the tide will fade,

Maybe this is the “perfect” that you pictured that day.

You will grow and you kids will be big,

After sometime, they will start their own gig,

You and your lady will stay at home,

Talk about the memories and wait for the tomb.

As every good thing comes to an end, so will your days

Heaven is waiting for you to take the way.

Your grand-daughter is holding you hand, as you take your last breath,

You pull your wife close and tell her “You are my biggest wealth.”

Life flashbacks, you smile “what a life I had”

You started an empire which will never fade,

With a smile on you face, you close your eyes forever,

All of this because you were the black and white in a world full of colors.

Unspoken words

I saw you at the garden,
thousand of times.
We share the moment there,
hundred of times.
But I’m not satisfy
with my love appetite.
Trying to control my emotion,
I clear my curious eyes slow.

While looking at your photo,
your mysterious eyes always
liable to stare at me.
And my heart full of admirable feelings,
I want to say to you till blue in the face
‘ words are few
and the feelings are true
but I can’t say how much
I Love You. ‘

After Death

Just woke up with unknown murmurs in the surrounding. “What is happening? Most of the faces I have known have been gathered in a place, is the day something special? No, no. All have the sad faces. Wait a minute, are my parents crying? And all my dearest family members. What is this?” I move towards my mother to ask if something has happened. But she does not care about my presence. She is just crying incessantly. I crawl to father with my heavy feet, but no, he even does not care any. “What is happening here?” I just realize that not of the attendees there care about my presence, they are standing there sad as if something has happened, but they don’t care about my presence, as if they don’t even know I am there desperate to know what is happening.

I saw one of my cousins busy looking at his mobile phone, I move to him if I get to know something from him. But no, he also does not care. I gaze at his phone and he is surfing some social media. He is gazing at my profile!! And there are few posts in my profile with words ‘RIP’ and he just adds the count. “What is this?” I turn back and I saw I am lying in front of me, motionless. “Am I dead? Is this the life after the death? You see everything and feel everything, but none other care for you and your presence. I can see them all but I can’t consolidate them or do anything, is this what happens after the death?”

I see my colleagues coming with their sad faces. They try to consolidate my parents and the relatives explaining that death being part of life. I feel happy for them as they at least try to calm my parents and relatives, irrespective to all others just standing making a mournful faces. Then they all move to a corner and started their own business talks. They just prove that a death is nothing but a part, they prove it by being busy for their own sorts, unlike few moments earlier, as they were imitating that they care about me so much.

Some people start saying that the event to be ended soon, so they ask my parents to have a last view if they wish. This just adds a loud cry of my parents and few dear relatives. “I can do nothing even looking at them. I am just watching them as if some show is running over here. Is this the life after death? If this is it, please God, just grant me another death, another death from this life, the life after death.”

 

Everyone is to be Respected and Loved

The life full of happiness, with all the wishes fulfilled, with small house with peaceful surroundings, with beautiful garden where one can spend his every morning looking at the sun commencing the day, and the beautiful flowers in the garden welcoming the arrival of the new day, listening to the chirping of the birds every morning, with the perfect soul-mate as the spouse whom one would be happy to enjoy whole life with, with all the good friends around, enjoying roaming around the world occasionally in the vacations, the personality to get admired by everyone around, being praised by everyone known, this is the dream life everyone looks for self. Who would not think of this as a successful life?

But, besides these types of so called general people, there are some differently-abled people in the world, for whom, the dream life would be just a life without any hatred. They too wish the life as the general people as they would call themselves, but due to being called disabled, their only dream would be to make the people realize that they are too able to live a life happily.

Actually, these differently-abled people had not chosen the life of their own, some get mutated, whereas some meet with the accidents, but they are happy, they had got the precious life of their own. Then, why so called general people try to prove the unworthiness of these gifts of the GOD. For an instance, if a person meets with an accident and gets the permanent disability for some parts of the body, or losses some functioning of vital parts of the body, then why is he bound to be looked with hatred afterwards, why is he compelled to lose his so called friends, just because he is no more so called normal,  just because he cannot walk on his own, just because he cannot clean his own mouth, just because he is no more intelligent (due to some damage in brain), just because he is no more smart? Even the old people are bound to be hated, when their disability gets over their bodies. This all is only because of superiority so called general think they have.

If one cannot help them, if one cannot help the blind people to cross the road, if one cannot clean drool from the mouth of a person with no hands, then he has no right to make fun of them. If one cannot be the cause of smile in those innocent faces, then he has no right to laugh at them and let their spirit of life to get spilled. Let’s be human first, let’s learn to respect others irrespective to their nature, ability, then only the nomenclature Homo sapiens sapiens gets verified, which means wise man. If we cannot be the source of their help or happiness, at least let’s not be the source of their tears or cause of their self-hatred.

So Called Being Social, Being loved

Being alone and got nothing to do, being killed with the boredom, he started to surf the stuffs on the internet. He opened up facebook. He enjoyed surfing on one of the popular social network today. Suddenly, his eyes caught a photo of his friend with 2000+ likes, 100+ comments. He started thinking, ‘He must be so social that he has got so many to care him, so many to love him. I have not even got half of that amount as my friends. Is this because I am not cared by much people? I must learn to be social now; I must be one to be loved by many.’ The cloud of dissatisfaction started to roll over his thoughts for being not able to be loved by a large number. Feeling disgraced, he closed the facebook account and opened up his twitter account. He looked at his statistics; being followed by 1000+ added to his disgrace when he saw his many friends has got 5000+ followers. He felt so humiliated that he had not been able to do much in his life to be known and include him in their friend zone. He started to open up his viber, whatsapp, instagram, snapchat and other accounts, that could do nothing more to his disgrace, because he felt that he was not cared by many people as he thought. Only 1000+ contacts, friends, followers on those social sites were nothing comparing to so called social, good looking, good behaving friends of him.

After three months, he met an accident and got admitted in the hospital. He found only his parents, brothers and sisters around his bed, no one else. Then he realized that none of those caring, loving friends, followers at his social sites give a damn at time of needs. More importantly, two of them, his father and mother, around the bed were not among those so called caring, loving members of his social sites. None of those so called social sites well-wishers prayed for his betterment of his health with same faith as those compared to those around his bed.

My Dear Friend

All the things you do, turned into things you did,

All the things you say, turned into things you said,

All the time we spent, turned into memories,

And maybe,

You’re riding the tide, on the other side

Heaven or hell, nobody can tell,

Somewhere near or somewhere far,

Where ever you are,

My dear friend:

May the sun shine as bright as you,

May the wind blow as free as you,

and May the world smile, like you always do.

 

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